Saturday, August 25, 2007
07:56 a.m.
Recent events have forced me to admit that I have a problem with saying no. If I had the ability to break out in a terrible rash at will, I would do so from now on whenever a stranger tries to give me candy or vegetables. The buzz is great for the first few minutes, but the disorientation that comes with waking up the next day is just not worth it.
In other news, I get compliments daily on my exquisitely porcelain skin.
Friday, December 15, 2006
02:51 p.m.
Coats in the winter snow,
stepping off and out into the breeze.
from here watching the people far down below,
watching babies watch birds watch Sasquatch trees.
Imagine that, a little Cote in my Hadborrow stocking,
the Sasquatch are a' plenty during these times.
for the old witch sits silently mocking,
and listening to the caragoochie chimes.
sings:
"Valla volla Buree
Cote tooths snap snatskay
slothcack noodles stack
veruga voosay"
Let's go on a journey,
across the land we will fly.
sleeping Sasquatch on a gurney,
lamas queuing for fresh Shepherd's pie.
experience that, a little Cote in my Hadborrow stocking,
the Sasquatch have special spines.
for the old witch sits by silently mocking,
and listening to the caragoochie chimes.
sings:
"Valla volla Buree
Cote tooths slap trotskay
slothcack noodles slack
away away!"
Saturday, April 8, 2006
01:39 a.m.
Have I ever told you how much I love sensual sounds? Moreover, I deeply enjoy sensual beats. Sensual beats make any situation oh-so sensual. Oh yes, I’m listening to a sensual beat right now, and I’ve got to say, I could love without hesitation and without too much restraint. Love, you ask? Yes. The love of a sensual situation, like a fine wine or a brown eyed lass.
When the beat goes, I realize that the wine and the lass are no where to be found. Was it all in the rhythm? Was I simply swayed by the beat the whole time?
Someday I will invent something to keep the sensuousness alive. But until that day, I will cry myself to sleep with tears of statutory osmosis. Even that is quite sensual, though. Nobody can resist osmosis.
Monday, February 13, 2006
06:09 p.m.
Saturday, February 4, 2006
10:53 p.m.
Suddenly I know how to make perfect pie! Everyone is jealous!
Everyone.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
08:18 p.m.
Ester has been acting pretty weird recently. Yesterday while I was over at Jane’s she came over with Jasper and his friend, who I didn’t know, to leave a message in a red envelope for Ben. Is she putting the moves on Ben, I wonder? Or maybe she’s a loanshark? I don’t really think Ben would associate with a loanshark, but come to think of it, I don’t know what she is (or does, I mean to say).
Sharks are pretty fierce creatures, the National Geographic Society says so. If you ask me what I fear in terms of predators; sharks are way up there. There’s nothing more unsatisfying than a nice swim on a hot day interrupted by the sensation of your legs being ripped from your body (I guess so). So if you want me to list three, three predators that is to say, I would list off sharks, bears, and cougars (who travel around in school buses).
Between you and me, swimming isn’t something I do well. Save me.
Wednesday, November 9, 2005
03:22 p.m.
It’s been bad recently. No eat no sleep no fun. And then magically too much of everything. Nothing is easy anymore!
Moments with plastic bags, electric appliances, and knives. And a really tall bridge.
One person is starting to piece it all together, I get mad at him when he says a clue out loud. I try to steer him in the wrong direction by telling him that he’s on the wrong track. I’ll change on the exterior to get rid of the scent (the biggest clue of all now). But in actuality, I wish that the truth would come out; just not in a negative way.
All one can leave are cryptic messages for some smart cookie to decode and follow. Mysteries get lonely.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
06:34 p.m.
Secret crush? Oh dear! Some people look way better to me than others; and this lady is one of them.
Let’s get together sometime. You say when, I’ll say where.
I woke up today to find an unmarked package at my door. It doesn’t appear to be a bomb, but it’s suspicious all the same. Maybe it’s mittens from my fictitious mother? At least I know for sure what it is not; mittens from a fictitious mother (my fictitious mother would not send mittens).
Thursday, August 4, 2005
03:47 a.m.
I should join a club of some kind. Maybe I will join a club that makes personal calendars for people and their dogs (to sabotage, of course).
Some lowlife keeps putting mustard down the staircase leading to the car-park. That to me is unforgivable, absolutely unforgivable.
Yes, I am back in the present. The future was starting to blow my mind far too often to be comfortable. I did bring back some pants, though. I hope I have not disrupted the Time/Space continuum. Most likely I’d feel bad about that.
Tuesday, December 21, 2007
07:37 p.m.
The future is not all that it’s cracked up to be. In fact, it’s pretty much the same as the past except for the giant oil otters. If “T” is for “Terrible”, then I’m sure “P” is for “Post Mortem Stress”; leave the poor guy alone, for god’s sake. Notice I did not capitalize on a “G”? Well then, you and I have much in common.
Friday, January 7, 2005
11:55 a.m.
Yesterday, or rather night, I found myself in middle of a bank robbery. Goodness knows how I get myself into these messes. But they needed a hostage, and so, being shorter than most of the other people in the bank, the robbers decided I would be the best candidate.
It was very messy this whole ordeal. The thing is, I don’t like being in threatening situations very much. And so, when they pushed me into their ugly brown van (it had those weird mud flaps with the naked women half on half off and unwashed upholstery) I was the first to voice my discomfort.
“I’m going to be frank with you, I don’t like being in threatening situations. So please; make this quick”.
At that the man beside me, I suppose he was the leader, responded by pistol whipping me once above the eyebrow and then again on the cheek leading into the nose. It stung, but you know, what stung more was the fact that not only had he done so after I had been polite enough not to struggle during the moments leaving the bank (the time during which haste is most imperative) but I was for the most part going to let them do their bit and then go on my merry way. Now not only were my plans to go for lunch with Jane completely ruined but I had blood all down the front of my new shirt.
It was then that the other man beside me (there were three in all: a fat driver, and two tall men/ medium build) told me that I would be lucky to get out of this alive. I had my doubts that these three mediocre bandits would have anything on my life or...
Oh, the phone is ringing. I suppose I’ll finish this some other time.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
12:28 p.m.
I was told to update. Yup.
Wednesday, March 3, 2004
4:35 a.m.
It was recently brought to my attention that certain members of the U.T.S.M..A (also know as The Wonderful Diamond Team) have been ringing my doorbell and then running away. I have not been home for a while (7 months actually) and so I thought I should mention that this act is both pointless and without cause.
In other news, I bought some new pants.
Sunday, October 5, 2003
01:04 a.m.
I wonder what would happen if I took a long stick and put it in a large hole in the ground. I wish I had what it takes to build a tent.
Monday, October 6, 2003
09:48 p.m.
I went into the future for the women. I left and came back again. So here I am.
Why would I ever see it that way.
Too bad for her.
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
12:51 p.m.
what would france do? Hm.
I think I took too long this time and now I am lost in a strange place where people eat too much feta.
Good days come in strange places.
I guess.
Thursday, July 3, 2003
01:31 a.m.
Greg! You suck.
I've broken the night-light in the hall.
I know what I want to do... I want to stalk my own shadow.
It has perverse moments.
I found out a good friend of mine has died. Bacon! I weep for you. Leaving us after so long? That hurts the old heart.
Thursday, June 19, 2003
09:19 p.m.
I did one of those real lame quiz things. But the outcome makes me laugh violently.
| lere | | Magic Number | 10 | | Job | Criminal | | Personality | Drifter | | Temperament | Pussy Cat | | Sexual | If I Have To | | Likely To Win | The Respect Of My Colleagues | | Me - In A Word | Startling | | Colour | | | Brought to you by MemeJack |
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I did it for a few people..
| jordyn | | Magic Number | 14 | | Job | Writer | | Personality | Multiple | | Temperament | All Bark, No Bite | | Sexual | Whatever, Whenever, Whoever | | Likely To Win | The Lottery | | Me - In A Word | Beautiful | | Colour | | | Brought to you by MemeJack |
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| jane | | Magic Number | 9 | | Job | Actor | | Personality | Vicarious | | Temperament | As High As A Very High Kite | | Sexual | Gay | | Likely To Win | A Free Coke | | Me - In A Word | Ditsy | | Colour | | | Brought to you by MemeJack |
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| ben | | Magic Number | 12 | | Job | Politician | | Personality | Procrastinator (If The Apathy Doesn't Kill Me) | | Temperament | If I Lose It - Run | | Sexual | If I Have To | | Likely To Win | A Swimming Badge | | Me - In A Word | Ditsy | | Colour | | | Brought to you by MemeJack |
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| fetis man | | Magic Number | 23 | | Job | Politician | | Personality | Paranoid And With Good Reason | | Temperament | Check My Pulse | | Sexual | Whatever, Whenever, Whoever | | Likely To Win | Nothing | | Me - In A Word | Beautiful | | Colour | | | Brought to you by MemeJack |
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Wednesday, May 21, 2003
5:56 a.m.
I sent off five post cards today. This is a test. Yes.
In other news I have a guests staying with me for a while. I really don’t want to say much about it. But yes; guests.
Tea cozies are for the proud. That’s what I say.
Monday, May 5, 2003
07:24 p.m.
I joined Ben and Jane downtown for a production of “A Doll’s House” by Henrik Ibsen. Hm. That is all I really have to say.
Along the way to Jane’s we saw a dog with no hind legs on the sidewalk; it’s owner told us that it had been in an unfortunate family picnic accident and since has had to use a wheel-about. It was horrible and yet at the same time I couldn’t help but laugh a little. Truth be told; I laughed a lot. I laughed and I laughed. And then the owner got angry and punched me in the gut, so then I laughed even more. I was great.
Jane was angry at me for laughing. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ben was too afraid to laugh but I know he wanted to. Ha ha ha ha ha.
The dog’s name was prince and he used a wheel-about! Ha ha ha!
Right now I am listening to Where it's at by Beck and Mastück la Ganvoia by Utoa
Monday, April 28, 2003
10:49 p.m.
I remember this. Horrible.
Tuesday, April 8, 2003
10:38 a.m.
So like... I'm pretty sick right now.
This morning someone snuck (who says sneaked!? ) into the washroom while i was in the shower and put something into my orange juice. I thinks it reacted badly with the acidic juice because i fhdnfsmbv .v
Sunday, April 6, 2003
11:31 p.m.
Jordyn... I don’t know what to say to you.
Sebastian. That's what I say.
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